sage away that september struggle

I’d been struggling trying to find the words to express why I’ve been missing for the last month, and part of it’s been because I always want my blog to stay honest and true to myself, and for it to truly reflect what’s happening in my life. I struggled so hard that I actually tried to make a video for you guys, because I thought it’d be easier! Joke’s on me though, most of my videos ended up with screen grabs like this because I couldn’t take myself seriously (how do youtubers DO that??):

sage awaysage away

I know I could’ve posted recipes and DIYs as if nothing happened, but it wouldn’t have been real if I skipped over the important parts, ya know? In reality, a week after my NYC mishap, someone broke into my apartment by crawling through my window and robbed me. Frankly, it messed me up a bit. Not only did I lose my laptop with irreplaceable pictures, I lost my sense of security in a place that was once my own. I’ve definitely developed some sort of anxiety as well where every unfamiliar creak sends me spiraling into a panic that someone who doesn’t belong is trying to get in, and I can’t sleep unless I’ve triple checked my doors (and even then, it’s not always the soundest).

Within the mess of trying to find the proper words to share everything with you all, this past Saturday I realized: despite this being one of the most trying times I’ve dealt with, I haven’t had a drink in one month. Maybe that doesn’t seem like much, but for someone who works in two industry jobs and generally hangs out in bars or clubs (most of my friends are industry too), it’s a feat. For someone who does the aforementioned while enduring effects of intense street harassment and a traumatic break in, during one of the busiest months of my life, I’d say it’s a test of my own willpower and strength.

I’ve never struggled with alcoholism, but I’d say that it’s natural for people to want to numb themselves to what’s going on around them when life gets hard, ya know?

dealing

I had wanted to write to you about how I was able to handle the struggle of this month by allowing myself to truly feel my emotions, and the realization that I made it through everything without alcohol only solidifies my thoughts.

I’m a firm believer that the only way that someone can make it past a hard situation is by allowing themselves to be fully immersed in their emotions, so that they can familiarize themselves with what’s causing pain, only to break away the negative hold and instead become empowered. While I wouldn’t say I’m completely over everything that’s been going on, I’d say by putting faith in myself that I’m strong enough to handle whatever comes my way, I know I’ll be fine.

notavictim4

At any rate, I’ve saged the hell out of my place (and my person, because DANG if I didn’t have some rough right hooks coming from life for a minute), and I’m looking forward to moving onward/upward/everywhere but down. The only person who can stop me from flourishing is me, and I’m ready to shed that month of September struggle and get back on track with you guys.

xx Kate

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9 Comments

  1. Clearissa Coward October 11, 2016 / 9:11 pm

    Good article. Sometimes we just have to go through it. I know October will be better. I do have a question though, where do you buy sage like that? Thanks.

    • thegoldsister@gmail.com October 12, 2016 / 11:48 pm

      So far, October definitely has been better! And I bought the sage at Whole foods!! 🙂

      xx

  2. Jessica| AvaGraceFashions October 11, 2016 / 9:53 pm

    Cool, my buff and I were just talking about staging things. Good to know I’m not as different as I feared!
    PS-check out Elizabeth DiAlto, she does a cord cutting exercise for clearing energy.

    • thegoldsister@gmail.com October 12, 2016 / 11:49 pm

      I’ll have to check her out! Thanks for the suggestion.

      xx

  3. Alice October 12, 2016 / 10:32 am

    Uurrgh I’d caught on that something was up but I didn’t realise this had happened to you. Truly awful, I’m sorry. I know how devastating it is when another person takes away your feeling of safety.
    That first part of your last sentence? 100%. Not to say you should be hard on yourself or that it’s somehow your fault when things are difficult or to be affected by what’s happened to you… I struggle with this so much it would be so hypocritical for me to say. I just mean, they can take your stuff, terrify you and shake you to your core but in the end you’re still here, still standing, still in charge of your life and entitled to live it, by your terms.

    • thegoldsister@gmail.com October 14, 2016 / 3:02 am

      I don’t think you’re hypocritical, and I appreciate this comment so much. <3

  4. Chasa Fulkerson October 13, 2016 / 11:08 pm

    I am always terrified something like that will happen to me. I am glad you were safe. I know it sucks having things that are important to you stolen. You are right, letting yourself feel the emotions will help you get past them.

    A few months I had someone jump our fence and come into my backyard. My puppy was barking really weird so I went out there and he was like I’m lost…. and jumped back over the fence. Yeah right he was lost.. lost into my fenced in backyard. I went on a cover all my windows and I make sure my doors are tripled lock. My one back door only had two locks. I told my husband we are getting a third lock for the back door and we did.

    I can only imagine if he had attacked me or tried to actual break into the house! You are strong enough and brave enough to get through this. You already proved it by having a clear mind letting yourself feel your emotions.

    • thegoldsister@gmail.com October 18, 2016 / 12:25 am

      Oh that’s so scary!! :(( Thank goodness you have your puppy that drew attention to it.

      And thank you. I really didn’t realize how mentally strong I can be until I had to be, ya know? <3

      xx

  5. Mary October 14, 2016 / 11:18 am

    I’m sorry to hear about yoru break in! I hope you can find doubles of your pictures. May be you uploaded them? I’ve never saged anything, but I heard it is wonderful for cleansing.

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